JOURNEY TO THE EAST 5

My days in Inderpuri were scheduled down to the minute, with four daily meditation periods and two visits to the ashram, where Swamiji would talk, answer questions, and do a short meditation. One time, when I entered an unusually deep state of meditation, Swamiji extended the time till just after I came out of my blissful state. I had no doubt about his powers, but there were still things about him that bothered me. For instance I never heard him admit that any other being had reached a state of enlightenment comparable to his own, including the Buddha. And then there was something else. My friend Nick came by with his girlfriend Lena and with Tove, his mother, and when the two women told me of their private meetings with Swamiji they both independently looked beatified and said: “He set me in his lap!”
“He never set me in his lap,” I thought.
He recommended strict celibacy, and the couples who became his disciples all gave up their sex life. Years later it came out that he had slept with many of the young women. He was not the only guru who slept with his disciples, but it seemed to me that he was extra hypocritical about it. It caused a scandal and many disciples left. I definitely had a suspicion, but never the less I had a very high time the four months I was in Inderpuri.
Only it could not last.
My visa had been extended once, and when it expired again I had to leave. I decided to go to Nepal for a short while and then come back on a new visa. When I said good-bye to Swamiji his last words were: “Beware of Tantrics!” As it turned out, not knowing that the Tibetans were Tantrics, I became involved with them, and didn’t return to Swamiji.
When I saw him again, much later, on his first visit to Denmark, he treated me like he had never seen me before; he didn’t forgive me that I had neglected his advice and hadn’t come back.
Swami Narayanananda