Astrological Events

Reg calculating

From my diary, Santa Barbara, April 18th, 1980:

Last night, as I come out from the dojo, Reg is calling out from his car: “What is that star next to the moon? Is it Venus?”
“Yes, it is Venus; the love star next to the emotion moon!” I say.
So, today is the day for emotional love coming up. It seems that 3 degrees before a conjunction there is an interference that blots out the influence of one of the planets. In the morning emotions clash and love is absent: Reg and I get in a quick ‘conjugal’ argument over the clogged kitchen sink and he turns his back on me to end the argument. We both have moon in Cancer.
Then: love shines and emotions are calm. Fred and I go downtown and do some shopping together. We have the connection of Venus through the earth signs of Virgo and Taurus.
At the time of conjunction between the moon and Venus, about two in the afternoon, there is a knock on the door. For once I look through the spyglass and see a distorted dark shape. I open, and there is Joey with his back to the door looking over his shoulder, immediately smiling and turning around. He has been away, working, but is now back with his girlfriend and a new bike, a Honda 750.
He pulls his shirt off. “I’ve gotten a new tattoo! It’s only half finished.” A dragon on his left shoulder blade. I can’t make him stand still more than a second for contemplation. There is this strong energy going between us; neither of us knows quite how to deal with it except that we have to acknowledge it. I go to get the camera and when I come out from my room with it he is just taking off his shirt for the third time since he came. He is on his way to the bathroom to check out the dragon again, but at the sight of the camera he jumps, exactly as when I wanted to massage his feet – no way! “I don’t want anybody to know how I look!” It makes me feel that the view of him is very precious, and he sure is a beautiful kid, like one of these roses that have been nipped a bit by the frost in the edge of the outer petals while they are still buds.
I guess what I should do now is meditate a little upon these events, not so much in their astrological pattern as in their duality. One year ago both my love and my emotions were tuned in to Reg; today we fight over a trifle. Even though we have never been lovers, I feel with him somewhat like these wives who suddenly, after a long ‘happy’ marriage, cannot bear the sight of their husbands, who are completely unconscious of their bad manners. By bad manners I mean selfishness. But the best object of meditation must be my own selfishness, which is pretty obvious.
Joey isn’t too happy, he is drinking too much and just had his mouth smashed in a fight and he is ready to pull away from his girlfriend. This comes out very quiet and clear, but then he covers up. There is something so sad about it and I am confused as to what I can do to help him and to enlighten myself or vice versa.

Joey, drawn from a photo that I obtained.